Lifelong Rita!

I have been studying what seems a lifeltime. Like in the film Educating Rita, ( here belies an 'educated view' ) I have come from a background that said "stay in the pub and be happy to drink the beer girl". I realised I was not happy with this at 18 years of age, the year this film was made. I 'asked' yes I will say that again, asked my 2 year old's father if he "minded me going to college in order to 'teach the baby'?" I lied. I played down my dreams of returning to education and played with his permissions and admissions of his stauts quo not being shaken, his masculinity not being challenged. Yes a woman that 'belonged' to him being educated messed with this for him it seemed. I made up some cockamamey story about the local adult education college women's returner course being a "group of mums that just talked kids really, that's all", and I was allowed to attend. Two basic qualifcations later, English O'level and City and Guilds Maths, spurned me on to taking on the book keeping and accounts course, a women's writing group a video with albany empire and channel 4 and by the time my daughter was three, the creche and college tutors had decided I was simply 'hanging around too long' and I should move on. I had by now been on the odd march to save the college from closing down ( ILEA days) and was now interested in nuclear disarmament 'of all things'. My poetry wrting was building fast too, and when he decided I was to come off the pill and have another baby and "leave that bloody college", that's when I decided me and Rita really were akin in our dreams. I left the ' bloody man' instead and carried on learning. Yes my books were burned too. My poetry ripped up and all sorts of other horrid things until I was safe and able to learn and live freely. Since my initial dreams gently smouldered at the young age of 18, having spent my post 16 years prior, bringing up my child, I learned a great deal about myself and my deterrmination to do something not only for my child, but also for me. Brixton Hill College, Access course for the diploma in social work, Morley College, for the introduction to youth and community work course, a DfES and Open University National Youth Agency accredited course for Full time youth and community workers (Apprenticeship Scheme), Birkbeck College, for women in management course, and Harrow College and Middlesex University for the certificate and diploma in person centred counselling. Throughout all of this time I had worked often as the sole breadwinner and at times as a lone parent too. My fight to learn and to be free from the oppression of others is still not over. I will endeavour to be strong and to face that which belies me in search of fulfillment. My lifelong achievement is the following: Passion to learn, Courage to learn, Courage to stay, Courage to flee, Passion to be ..what I want to be, Trying to teach, Trying to care, Showing to others .. the love that was there. To my daughter Michelle, with all my love Mum x