The email mentoring has begun. I am pleased for him and for me. It is a very special kind of relationship that is unique to the individual. I hope it proves useful for him in some small way.
Tish :)
Patricia Mata
www.Person-Centred-Consultancies.com
Podcast Conference 2006
I'm off to the Podcast conference this year! 18th November 2006 and will update you all on the opportunities for podcast learning, e-learning and combining this with the person centred approach.
warm wishes Tish : )
I opened an email today that asked me for advice? Now what's wrong with that? Nothing. However, in offering advice I'd say that I have to be true to my approach. That is to say that being person centred is what I truly feel, is the best approach a person can take with this in terms of accepting any advice being offered.
Then to my next question? "whose advice is the 'best?" A client might ask. I would feel if you are presupposing that someone elses' advice is, then what does that say about your own inner thoughts and ability to find solutions? I worked as an advice worker in London and was used to offering a range of options for the young people to explore. Sometimes there was very factual information and sometimes it was clear to a young person that such and such should be done.
However, this is being person centred with factual information.
Being any other way would be telling someone what to do.
I have offered the chap that wrote the email, the opportunity to embark on his query with me with an openness towards the person centred approach. If he agrees, then he might truly find his own internal advice more useful than that of any 'expert' he might chose to consult.
For me this is what Person Centred Consultancies is all about. If I wanted to just set up a business that was all about offering solutions to people without this person centred approach, I'd be claiming I was 'the expert' in all of their needs. I am not and do not profess to be, regardless of the training, qualifications or experience I have.
YES I have information, and YES some advice, and YES to plans and designer programmes that could help someone or an organisation to develop. However only with a commitment and understanding from them that person centred is what they are after and with the option to create something specific to their needs, uniquely their own and is created between us in a person centred way.
I hope he takes up my offer to 'meet me' in the person centred way with finding a solution to his problem. He might find the results stay around a lot longer as it would have also come from within and not simply have been 'cut and pasted' so to speak, onto him.
chat soon!
Tish
Patricia Mata
copyright 2006
I have just seen that my letter in response to an article in the Voice about Black Business women has become letter of the week! wow. That's brilliant!.. now someone 'must be feeling me' to have done that.
Have a look at the letter from this link http://www.voice-online.co.uk/voicemail.php
speak soon. Tish
I have hoped to provide an opportunity for others in the person centred field to see / seek out innovative ways of using the person centred approach within their working and personal lives.
A moment of wonder I want to share.
I had the cheek, bare faced cheek I say, to ask an eminent American professor what his views were on the late Carl Rogers. He is a great authority on Carl Rogers and I emailed him with a query. It was a shot in the dark, but was about the most pertinent of questions: did Carl Rogers ever have an ethical dilemma in swaying from his own approach into the use of any other at ANY time? This was pertinent to my own self discovery and ethical wrangles within., and I wanted to write about this in my disseration.
I was in wonder when I received his email reply.
He answered my query and stated he was 'happy to answer my questions'
I can't say how that made me feel. I suppose there is just a moment or two when someone could say to themselves , "well why not?" and really go for what they want in life.
I wrote a piece on women in business and creativity, where I state 'I am my own limitator' . and that is exactly how I feel about anything I momentarily feel unsure about. ( Like emailing an eminent professor).
This is also about conditions of worth constantly being processed and overcome. I have opened up to opportunity and facing easily, others choices to not respond, act, partake etc etc. In the therapeutic setting, when we encourage our clients through their process to explore a range of options, ideas, dreams, desires, we are also readily saying ' I have done that too. I have walked these roads, and I am able to assess the limits that affect my life choices, with courage and determination.
How easy that is to say and recall in our work as counsellors, but congruency with this too?
Talk the talk, AND walk the walk? without....... telling ourselves it was our CHOICE not to do such and such. etc.
What does the term 'back burner' really mean in our lives? how does our congruency affect our deliberation of future life decisions?
My email reply became a processed moment on condtions of worth for me. I didn't expect a reply ( he's a busy / clever, eminent, man. ) but when I recived it. It was the wonder of the condions of worth moment that really gave me further insight into myself.
warm wishes,
Tish
Patricia Mata
copyright 2006
A follow up to 'Women in Business': Creativity update
The creativity is explosive now! NOW I am NOT told by an employer, " sorry maybe in next year's funding round". As an employee this was stifling and brought about a range of feelings that marked the end of 'it's a no go' patterns as a worker. I also feared losing sight of my own 'inner management judgement' of 'when I hear a good idea what would I do with it?' Instead I'd be be left with wondering was I banging my head against a brick wall? Or worse still .. "Ah well just leave all the creative stuff and work like a trooper that should create some satisfaction".
By allowing myself the chance to do something about this and not betray that inner voice, I was free to take up the challenge. Being a woman in Business has given me the chance to bring my creativity to the threshold of experience. To ask pertinent questions to research my own answers, to keep on knocking at the doors of opportunity. I am my own 'limitator' and have direct control over the what ,where, how and when, of anything I produce. I work my own hours and write my own script! let me say that again.
I work my own hours and write my own script.
This is crucial for how and where I feel happiest from day to day. If there has been anything that has made me get up in the morning and stay up till late at night with JOY, then it has to be the wonderful feeling I am left with inside, of being at the helm of my own ship. I am energised and alive, not killing myself either, but more awake and 'tuned in'. Yes LISTENING to that little voice that dared to get louder and louder until it said, " HEY! start up your OWN business!"
For women out there that are needing that little push or great big shove, from inside out, my advice would be - listen, tune in and act!
Motivation, deliberation, satisfaction and self achievement is a wonderful thing to have, but you have to want this first. Working out how to get there and when to get there is another thing. For me it was the day I said the following :
"Yes ok I'm listening"
The back burner? Been there, done that and have a few burned-on dreams that need a good old cleaning off to boot.
Wishing you luck, with ' tuning in and going for it'.
Tish -
Patricia Mata
copyright 2006
I have started my own Business in Buckinghamshire and want to ask women what their aspirations are in developing their own business? What had made them interested in sticking at it? What motivated women to do this?
I'd also like to know if you haven't started your own business and your reasons why?
I'd like to know; What’s stopping you? What will you lose? What ARE you losing?
I'm a person centred counsellor living in Buckinghamshire and this is a short snippet of my journey to where I am now as a new Business Start Up in Person Centred Consultancies.
My working life has been offered for the good of others in the voluntary, statutory and charity sectors for over twenty years. I decided that the time has come to put my own ideas into practice. I have given my skills and services to others for the use of the community for this time and hoped that where funding allowed, my creativity would be utilised for the greater benefit of all.
The NYA( National Youth Agency )supports youth work across the country for anyone wanting to get involved in youth and community work and is the best place to start learning about how to begin a career in this sector.
As an employee, when opportunities to develop projects and programmes arose, but funding was not available to support them, I would feel at times despondent and almost like " ah well, it was probably too expensive to run anyway". However this kept gnawing away at me. I used the experience to ensure that by 'working on a shoe string budget' the community would still get as much help and support as was available, given the resources. and in the bargain, I'd get the opportunity to share my ideas and creativity.
STILL, this was not enough. I would not take no for an answer. What was the question? and who was asking? The query came from a small voice inside of me asking, "why ever not"? I decided to answer, a little at a time. I will tell you more about this voice tomorrow. To face the challenge and begin my own support resource for the community meant planning, deliberation, feeling scared and excited all at once.
I have been proud of my work as a youth and community worker and sometimes, just sometimes, a little bit of this would rub off onto others when I had the chance to do freelance training and workshops.
I have now taken this so much further! I now feel so much more satisfied within myself for listening to what's inside. This, I believe is the effect of the Person Centred Approach in my own life.
See tomorrow’s account of what creativity has done for me and why it's been worth every moment.
ciao till then Tish
Patricia Mata
copyright 2006
apologies.. for my first Blog being as long as it was. I will edit down and produce snippets in future.
warm wishes Tish :0
This is my first posting here at person centred blog. I am a person centred counsellor and trainer living in Buckinghamshire and have a website Person Centred Consultancies that is still being developed. I want to be able to share some of my thoughts on e-learning and how it can be of use to a range of people that are interested in how to use the person centred approach and e-learning combined.
what is e-learning ?
It's what you are doing right now, for one. We use the Internet for a range of reasons and with a range of needs. As a student, to research, as families to seek what's on guides and as individuals to open up our horizons for accessing some of the most amazing information across the globe. Through just these simple terms, e-learning is part of that.
It's also the use of PCs, software and programmes that can be accessed through a PC, mobile phone, internet and a range of other telecommunications.
You hear a particular talk radio show and within seconds you could have that information fed to your mobile phone and played back to you at your leisure. Now imagine your teenage son daughter using an ipod. Yes they are listening to music, who isn't, when they get the chance? what now if they have just downloaded a podcast of the latest course work revision tips or study skills, or support from a teenage helpline podcast about the realities of drugs, STI's or report-a-bully.
I'm hoping to develop this alongside a range of other pod casts and e-learning resources that would merge with the Youth Services across the whole of the UK, and other Youth Providers. ( and develop adult learning opportunities too)
Now how about being person centred?
The person centred approach was developed by Carl Rogers. In therapeutic terms, and simplistically, offering of the core conditions by the therapist.
This 'way of being' is adopted by many workers that are not counsellors. The people that simply share in an experience with an individual and offer themselves in this way.
Person centred means also believing that the individual are their own experts and directors in their own lives, have the power and autonomy to believe this in themselves and support this belief in them also.
As a counsellor I may be asked, "So what do you think I should do?" ( about their concern).
My role in being person centred, would be to create an environment for the client to work out what THEY want to do, what THEY believe is important to them and what THEY feel is THEIR course of action.
So how can being person centred help with e-learning?
How would you feel if you were at a PC and just had a sense that someone was stood over you and was telling you how to go about learning this or that or they were actually doing this?would you feel pressured? embarrassed? irritated? A person centred approach would be to ask what do you want to learn? To respond, sensitively, to the person's request, to believe they have the ability and that when they are stuck with something they will ask for your help or work out how to do it through a help page they have just found for example, and yes any good teacher would do this too. Sometimes these are feelings that can emerge from the learner for a range of reasons and even with no intent on the teacher's / tutors part. Our history and blocks to our learning can affect how we enage in current learning or re-engage with learning at all, if we are a post 16 retuner.
Privacy and autonomy.
How can the e-learner feel they have both privacy and autonomy and feel better about themselves in their e-learning efforts? singluar PC booths whilst on the internet at the local Library, yes go some way to helping this? being at home on the PC? yes, this too for those that have a PC and are online at home, but many do not, and those that do have to also negotiate time for this with other family members that need to 'chat on MSN' or google something or other. A young e-learner will have this also to attend with and be motivated not to simply chat with mates and see the latest videos on Youtube.
By creating e-learning and virtual learning environments that support the belief in the individual being autonomous directors of thier own learning, hold the person centred ethos at heart, the individual could then feel and be autonomous in their learning, feel sensitively 'listened or responded to' and direct their own approach to the task at hand, pull themselves up for 'wasting time' by setting their own time limit to completion of modules. The task that THEY set for themselves. It also encompasses the belief that they could begin to see the consequenses of their own actions ( "aggggghhh Youtube trawling, for an hour means I've logged out now and can't finish!!!" ) and thereby take responsibility for that along with the family members demanding 'their time' on the PC.
Modular e-learning and the need for sensitivity, prizing and supporting the belief in self
By taking modules, bite sized chunks at a time, the e-learner can assess their own approach to learning, ask for feedback and see virtual recognition from their virtual tutor if and when they chose. This might make all the difference for e-learners returning to log in to their course again, feel they got something back and feel motivated to return again. Yes we all want to feel the ' I got a gold star!' feeling when we have achieved something well done. Person centred modular learning would support the individual to asses themselves and how they felt about the module, exercise, test AND offer that if they didn't want to return for a bit, that's cool, possibly with an option to assess why they didn't feel to continue.
As a trainer with young people ( and adults) I relied on a range of evaluate tools to get feedback. Flip charts, post it notes, graffiti board, scribe 'one thing I liked/ didn't like group discussions and individual evaluation sheets. This would then form my approach to developing the next programme workshop.
Evaluating E-learning - honestly
By asking the e-learner to offer this virtually for example, the e-learner has the chance to say what she/ he really feels. At any course I have attended and was given an evaluation sheet to fill in, I would know this was crucial to planning and development for the trainer. However, even I would fall foul of the time trap and 'hurry it up' as I'd invariably have a train to catch. I would then scribble ineligible comments here or there, and feel obliged to say something good about the food, trainer, venue. It's difficult to hand something in that says otherwise.
Why? because the 3 minutes left, was going to be needed to catch 'that person that I clicked with for their number, email and agency contact details. Networking when you meet like minded folk is also important. Just as important as a young e-learner that wants to say hi for the one minute that THEY have left between walking from one class to another. Just as important for THEIR social networking, study partner chats or gossip moments. This is just as important in school as it is in the workplace.
If you have any views you want to share, please do.
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